Flying the Friendly Skies

I wouldn’t say I’m scared of flying so much as apprehensive. I don’t like not having control. Also, with all of the air travel related accidents lately it’s a bit concerning. Last Wednesday we flew out to Seattle for Bryan’s cousin’s wedding. We had a good time out there. Didn’t do much tourist-y stuff but did some hiking and a drive around Mt Rainier. I’ll post some of those pictures in my “free time”. Unfortunately the day before we left I contracted food poisoning or some other form of 24 hour stomach blight. That left me tired and rather crabby for the flight home.

The first flight was packed (Everyone please stow your personal items under your seats. We are reserving the overhead bins for wheeled suitcases and large items.) We had some toppers a row back (You did abc well I did XYZ) And a woman ahead of us that answered her cell phone while we were on the runway waiting to take off. The one saving grace of that flight was Delta has monitors in the backs of all seats so you can watch tv/movies/play games/etc AND they have a funny pre-flight video for all the typical safety info. There were ducks, muppets, other silliness.

We had a 3.5 hour layover which we were looking forward to. On the way out we had to pretty much run from one flight to the other. We decided to go to Chilis for dinner and got the worst service ever. 5 minutes for our waitress to come over (the place was near empty) and another 5 to get our drinks (iced tea and water). She brought our appetizer out after 10 minutes saying I’ll be right back with your food. Needless to say we sent the appetizer back. After that we decided we had enough of a bad layover, time to turn it around with a chair massage. One of the best decisions we made! Followed by another good one. We spent the rest of our layover at a wine bar. We split a bottle of wine and had some tasty desserts. Now for our last flight which was a short 45 minute jump home on a half full plane!

I think Delta has put out and edict specifying that their pre-flight announcements must be humorous. Here are the highlights of the flight attendant’s run down.

  • My fellow Jedis, welcome aboard the USS Enterprise. I am John and we are accompanied by Captain Kirk in the cockpit.
  • There may be 50 ways to leave your lover but only 4 ways to leave the plane.
  • Smoking is allowed on this flight. Please see one of the attendants who will help you to the smoking section on the wing.
  • If you are found smoking you will be escorted outside the plane.
  • If you don’t know how to work a seat belt you shouldn’t be in public unsupervised.
  • If the cabin loses pressure stop screaming and….
  • In case of a water landing use your flotation device to paddle to safety like a little swan.
  • The cabin is under video surveillance and those not seated during take off will be strip searched by the amazing TSA.

And there were these at the end of the flight

  • A passenger has lost a pet. Please look around and if you find something brown, 8 legged, and hairy, please pick it up, put it in your lap, and alert the flight attendant.
  • Please take your belongings. Anything left will be distributed amongst the crew. Please do not leave any children or adults who act like children. We don’t want them.
  • Thank you for flying with Delta Airlines where we really don’t love you, we just love your money.

So that is the long and short of our flight home. It’s amazing how a good chair massage can turn things around. I highly recommend it to anyone on a layover!

2 thoughts on “Flying the Friendly Skies

  1. Dunno that I would’ve enjoyed ALL that somewhat relentless humour, Megz … but if it kept your mind off not having control, than it was fine. 🙂

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